December 12th 2015

                    Certain people doing this if they’re tired or bored of their life, well doesn't mean i bored of my life. “Pushing people away” is my theme of the year tada! Pushing people away means i can’t meet people. Why ? i’m just afraid to talk, or meet someone new this is what we called introvert. It happens in the beginning of the year, i just sat down on my coach watching tv like usual and not interest goin outside world. And then i spoke more less and less, some people know what the reason is. I have my word on my mind but i just can’t talk about it, so many things that i wanna do but i just can’t.

                “what if” the word that always pop up. What if i talk like this they’ll be laughing? What if i talk like this they’ll be proud? Should i be stupid to make them laughing? Too much thinking before i speak,  too much  act , too much fake (but not everything i do's fake). I just can’t feel my old self. Aah this is what people call changing.  But when i thought about that this is a bad thing.

                The good thing is i have my own free time,  i can study more. I have more family time, can re-read my books, cuddling with my kitten, watching my favorite show, far from outside world. This isn’t a bad thing either.  It’s just make me sad i can’t meet people that i love like i used to be. This is what happend in this year, how about in 2016?